My nerves are getting nervous!

With the Camino de Santiago only days away now, I'm getting really kind of nervous. Last night I was on a forum and was stupid enough to read a thread about crimes that have taken place on the camino. Sexual harrassment, robbery, assault. I mean, these things happen everywhere, and it's common sense to take care of your belongings (and yourself) like you would elsewhere. In the old days, pilgrims used their walking stick to ward off wild dogs and robbers, and they were even protected by the Knights Templar. My mind just started making up terrible scenarios, and my mood fell. Today I've been walking around with a feeling that I should just not go at all. It's ridiculous, and I know that it's probably just nerves. I mean, of course walking 800-1.000 kilometers on my own through a country where I don't even speak the language, makes me nervous. I'd be stupid if I wasn't. I just wish I was there already, and didn't have to think about airports and train stations, and what to do for my thirteen hour lay-over in Paris.

I wish I was one of those people who just takes these things in stride. When I try to take things in stride, I end up getting completely detached from the situation. I don't want to become detached from my pilgrimage! Maybe I should watch some Amazing Race for inspiration...? My anxiety is pretty bad right now. And it doesn't help that the people from the half-way refugio (in Orisson, which would split the tough first leg in half) don't return my e-mail, so I don't know if I'll be able to stay there or if I'll have to walk 25 kilometers over the Pyrenees all on the first day, which I was hoping to avoid because I'm worried about my knees.

On a much happier note, I had a really good work-out today. My last session with a personal trainer, and even though I was pretty tired afterwards, I managed to run for a bit on the treadmill. It's been literally months since my last run, because my shins have been killing me, but today everything worked perfectly. No pain! I had expected to be out of running shape, but it went really smoothly. In the end I had to stop because my thighs were tired from the work-out, rather than because I was out of breath! I can't wait to get back home from Spain, so that I'll be able to start running for real.

Wait, what am I saying? For a year now, it's been "I can't wait to get to Spain and start walking!", and now it's "I can't wait to get back home and start running!" *scratches head*

My stomach's been really nervous too for a week now. Which has helped me lose another kilo (now seven in total since last September), and I swear that when I suck in my tummy and flex my stomach muscles, I can see the promising shape of a sixpack beneath the fat somewhere. I swear by everything that's considered holy that I'll continue my RedCord training when I get back home, with or without a personal trainer!

Now... Back to worrying.

Masochistic fun

I had a really good work-out yesterday! My personal trainer is almost as invested in my pilgrimage as I am. When I walk in for my session, he always asks how my legs are, since I've been having some troubles with my shins. I bragged and said my legs were really good lately, so yesterday we went straight to the knee-bends-on-balance-discs-exercise, which I hate because it's so much heavier than regular knee bends. As I was doing them, I felt that all too familiar pain in my shins. So now I'm advised not only not to run anymore, but also to be careful that I don't walk too fast, on too hard a surface, or too far, so that my shins will have the opportunity to heal properly before I leave. Boring days ahead, then.

The rest of the session we used a RedCord, and because I had opened my big mouth and said that the muscles in my stomach didn't get sore the last time, he made me do a bunch of really hard stomach exercises. Today the muscles in my stomach are sore. My ribs actually feel bruised, if not to say fractured (and since I fractured one last winter, I know exactly how that feels like). Moving hurts, and even just standing in an upright position hurts. And it'll get even worse tomorrow. I'm being such a masochist today, just poking my ribs for fun, even though it makes me gasp with pain. Ahh, the things we do when we're bored...

Meanwhile, I'm still putting off making those big, important decisions in life. Hurray for me.

Catching up

I had a really good day today! I had a late lunch with an old friend from school, whom I've somehow only seen once in ten years. We sat at the café for four hours, and even got a free plate of hot nachos with dip after a while, just because the guy working there wanted to do something nice for us. We just talked and talked, and after we'd left the café we only went to a different one to have cake... Six hours in total (and two coffees, one tea, one salad, one hot chocolate, and one piece of cheese cake, in addition to the nachos), we managed to spend before we realized it was getting kind of late.

It's funny how you can meet someone you haven't seen in so many years, and just start where you left off. It was so easy to talk, and I realized how much I miss being able to see my friends on a daily basis. I'm so happy I get to see Angie again soon for her birthday! Yay!

Ahem...

I'm now officially one of those people who starts every other sentence with "My PT says..."

Yes, I can!

My PT looks like that madman in the army who yells at people and gives them the evil eye. Literally, that's what he looks like! I thought maybe he would try to scare me into shape or something. And before we started the session he told me he did have some higher army education. That scared me a little...

But as it turns out I'm going to laugh myself into shape, because he tells some incredibly funny stories! The hour (and ten extra minutes) flew by so fast, and at the end I didn't really want to stop. And this is me we're talking about - me, who used to hate working out and didn't understand why on earth anyone would want to put themselves through that voluntarily.
In addition, everything I did was accompanied by cheers. Every time I thought I couldn't do another repetition, he said "Yes, you can!". And I always could! He gave me ten minutes extra to the hour, just because he had "nothing better to do anyway, if you're up for it". I was. And I can't wait until next Wednesday, even though he said he was so impressed that next time will be a lot harder. I bet he says that to everyone, but it still felt good that he seemed proud of me! If my sore muscles today is an indicator of things to come, I probably won't be able to stand up in a week's time. Still, I can't wait to explore more things about my body, discover strengths I didn't know I had, and hear more of those funny stories!

Last night I dreamed I was in the army, and that my PT was the drill seargant or whatever it's called. He was forcing me to run around the field in front of our house, and when I asked how long I had to keep running, he said "Until I tell you to stop!" So I ran and ran. It was actually pretty easy, and one time I ran past him, he said "Well done" in a low voice so the others wouldn't hear. I woke up feeling so proud of myself!

And then I noticed my sore throat. Now I'm shivering with cold (even though it's 26 degrees Celcius in here) and my joints ache almost as much as my muscles. And still I had to bake cupcakes after work today, since it's my turn to bring the Friday yummies. The sweet smell makes me feel a but queasy. I should probably go to bed.

Grrr....

My sister has a friend over right now, and if I hear them saying "Nice!" or "M-hm!" once more I think I'll have to shoot myself.

Heres my schedule for next week:

Monday
- Work 07.30 - 15.00
- Go to the police department after work to see if I can order my new passport there, or if I have to go to the neighbour town (I really hope not, as I'm already cutting it a bit short, and it's hard for me to get all the way over there)
- Buy ingredients for homemade crispbread and for banoffee and chocolate chip cupcakes
- Hopefully catch a bus home...

Tuesday
- Work 9.00 - 16.30
- Zumba at 17.30 (might be skipped, since I don't think I can get someone to pick me up at the gym both on Tuesday and Wednesday)
- Shave my legs...

Wednesday
- Work 8.00 - 15.30
- Walk to the gym (takes about 30 minutes from where I work)
- My first PT session at 17.30. Must remember to wear shorts and low cut socks, since he's going to have a closer look at how I move when I walk/ run *adds "shave my legs" on Tuesday's schedule*
- Hopefully have someone pick me up at the gym...

Thursday
- Hopefully I'll get this day off, since I have to work Monday (which is my usual day off)
- In that case I'll spend Thursday baking two trays of crispbread, and three batches of cupcakes...
- Order new national health card

Friday
- Work 9.00 - 16.30
- Must remember to bring crisp bread and cup cakes, since it's my turn to bring the Friday yummie edibles.
- PAY DAY!

Saturday and Sunday
- I'm guessing I'll sleep most of the weekend...


During this week I must also try to fit the following into the schedule:
- at least a half-hour walk every day
- at least one walk that's longer than 10 kilometers, preferably two
- talk to the people in charge of my travel insurance... I have a strong suspicion that I might still have a student travel insurance, and also I need to check if it will last me travelling for more than six weeks
- find a new and renewable energy source within myself
- oh, and call this guy that I work with to get back something he was going to fix for me, because he's not coming back to work for the foreseeable (that word doesn't look right...) future. Problem is that I recently (well, since Easter) have realised that I'm developing a growing crush on said guy, so I the idea of calling him to arrange a meeting makes my stomach churn. But it's kind of okay, since I haven't had a real crush for years now. At least I know that part of my emotions are still there.

At some point in the nearest future I must also go to the city to talk to the people at the pilgrim office and get my credencial there, make a list of all the things I need to buy before going, and buy them, pack my backpack, check the weight of it, repack it, get angry at all the stuff I need to bring, try to decide which book and note book to bring, cry out of sheer frustration, hate the world, get panicky about the short amount of time I have left before I leave, and wonder why the passport hasn't arrived yet.

I'm leaving in ten weeks! To walk 800 kilometers through Spain, over the meseta, the mountains, through cities and villages, and sleep in crappy hostels with up to 90 smelly people in the same room!

I've almost forgotten why wanted to do this now...

I now officially have a personal trainer

A scary-looking dude with big muscles, a permanent wrinkle between his eyes which makes him look angry all the time, and a closely shaved head. What can I say? I got a good recommendation from a colleague and a good price from the man himself.

And I'm talking a really good price! I signed up for 20 sessions, which would normally cost 9.350 NOK, but I got it for 6.000 NOK and I get to pay for one session at the time. That's a reeeeaaaally good price!

And he seems nice and has a great sense of humor.

So it could be fun.

Did I mention he looks really scary...?

Twentysomething - Jamie Cullum

After years of expensive education
A car full of books and anticipation
I'm an expert on Shakespeare and that's a hell of a lot
But the world don't need scholars as much as I thought
Maybe I'll go traveling for a year
Finding myself, or start a career
Could work for the poor, though I'm hungry for fame
We all seem so different but we're just the same
Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat
Aren't things more easy, with a tight six pack
Who knows the answers, who do you trust
I can't even separate love from lust
Maybe I'll move back home and pay off my loans
Working nine to five, answering phones
But don't make me live for Friday nights
Drinking eight pints and getting in fights
Maybe I'll just fall in love
That could solve it all
Philosophers say that that's enough
There surely must be more
Love ain't the answer, nor is work
The truth eludes me so much it hurts
But I'm still having fun and I guess that's the key
I'm a twentysomething and I'll keep being me