My nerves are getting nervous!

With the Camino de Santiago only days away now, I'm getting really kind of nervous. Last night I was on a forum and was stupid enough to read a thread about crimes that have taken place on the camino. Sexual harrassment, robbery, assault. I mean, these things happen everywhere, and it's common sense to take care of your belongings (and yourself) like you would elsewhere. In the old days, pilgrims used their walking stick to ward off wild dogs and robbers, and they were even protected by the Knights Templar. My mind just started making up terrible scenarios, and my mood fell. Today I've been walking around with a feeling that I should just not go at all. It's ridiculous, and I know that it's probably just nerves. I mean, of course walking 800-1.000 kilometers on my own through a country where I don't even speak the language, makes me nervous. I'd be stupid if I wasn't. I just wish I was there already, and didn't have to think about airports and train stations, and what to do for my thirteen hour lay-over in Paris.

I wish I was one of those people who just takes these things in stride. When I try to take things in stride, I end up getting completely detached from the situation. I don't want to become detached from my pilgrimage! Maybe I should watch some Amazing Race for inspiration...? My anxiety is pretty bad right now. And it doesn't help that the people from the half-way refugio (in Orisson, which would split the tough first leg in half) don't return my e-mail, so I don't know if I'll be able to stay there or if I'll have to walk 25 kilometers over the Pyrenees all on the first day, which I was hoping to avoid because I'm worried about my knees.

On a much happier note, I had a really good work-out today. My last session with a personal trainer, and even though I was pretty tired afterwards, I managed to run for a bit on the treadmill. It's been literally months since my last run, because my shins have been killing me, but today everything worked perfectly. No pain! I had expected to be out of running shape, but it went really smoothly. In the end I had to stop because my thighs were tired from the work-out, rather than because I was out of breath! I can't wait to get back home from Spain, so that I'll be able to start running for real.

Wait, what am I saying? For a year now, it's been "I can't wait to get to Spain and start walking!", and now it's "I can't wait to get back home and start running!" *scratches head*

My stomach's been really nervous too for a week now. Which has helped me lose another kilo (now seven in total since last September), and I swear that when I suck in my tummy and flex my stomach muscles, I can see the promising shape of a sixpack beneath the fat somewhere. I swear by everything that's considered holy that I'll continue my RedCord training when I get back home, with or without a personal trainer!

Now... Back to worrying.