Blue

I'm so sad today. I'm just crying and crying... The kid I loved the most had her last day at the kindergarten today. She started going there in February last year, when she was only nine months old, and she was soooo tiny! I used to carry her around all day, because that was the only way to keep her from crying. We've had a special bond ever since then, and I've seen her grow up to celebrate her first birthday, take her first steps and learn her first words. Her little face used to brighten up when she saw me in the morning. I tried spending as much time with her as possible today, and at one point she suddenly, for no apparent reason, reached out her arms to me while I was pushing her on the swings. I asked if she was done, if I should lift her out. She shook her head, laughed at me and reached her arms to me again. So I stopped her swing, sat down in front of her and asked what she wanted. She laughed out loud, put her arms round my neck and hugged me, real tight. Tears have been rolling down my face ever since, and they won't stop. Any other one of the 85 kids we have there and I'd be sad for half an hour and then I'd be fine. But not this one. She was so special to me...

Gosh, I wonder what's worse, that I'm going to spend the weekend watching old episodes of Survivor or the fact that I'm really, really looking forward to it....!