Don't rely on other people!
I'm slightly panicked now. Tess was so dead set on moving to the city that I actually quit my job, thinking it would happen. I quit my job!! And now that I'm ready to move, she's all "Ummm, yeah... but... hmmm, I dunno..."
I can't afford moving on my own, not without staying here for another year, saving up on money. And I'm going crazy here! I'm so lonely and secluded, and sometimes I feel myself starting to get depressed again.
I'm so disappointed, but I don't really feel like I can tell her, either...
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Note to self:
Mused by Annie at 12:08
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2 judgements:
Aawww, poor sweetie!! I feel really guilty because i didn't really help either when i said "ok i'll join you two" then suddenly "hmm, i dunno, maybe not..." :( But that's not because i don't wanna move to the city.
But isn't there some other way? Like sharing an apartment with other people? I know you didn't want that, but maybe it's better than nothing... at least you'll get out of Outer Boondocks and meet more people. It's scary that you're feeling sadder and like you're getting more depressed again:(
Or isn't there some sort of dorm where you could stay even if you're not studying? Or if you get a job in Oslo before moving, you could afford a single room apartment maybe? If you continued in a kindergarten for example, since they really need that in the city...
Aww, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel guilty! It was Tess who wanted to move in the first place, so it was just an added bonus that you thought about tagging along ;) I just had a really bad day yesterday. I feel less hopeless now. And to make it worse Susan had just told it was really hard getting jobs in the city. But now that I've thought about it I know that she's looking for different jobs than me anyway...
Also I know now that I'll get my job back, easily. And I've come to terms with the fact that I might have to get a kindergarten job in the city while looking for something else. And it's actually the only job I know I'm really good at. Although I'm now trying to read lots of different types of books to prepare for a possible bookstore job as well ;)
Gahhh, all I want to do is write really good, though-provoking, bohemian novels! Is that so hard to achieve?? :p
Thanks for the cheer-up, sweetie! I love you so much for always knowing how to do that! :')
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