I hate her, hate her, hate her!

I'm having Six Feet Under-moments at work. Just like they do on the show I keep seeing myself doing all these crazy things, like suddenly getting up off my chair during lunch, screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!" at the top of my lungs, or "Shut the fuck up! Buffy was wrong, YOU'RE the Evil Bitch-Monster of Death, you fucking psychopath!", or simply watch my own head explode. Or strangle her.

Yes... strangle her!

And then - cut to me still sitting on my chair staring vacantly into space. Or like today, when I had serial-fantasies about John - this cute, Swedish guy I work with - telling Bitch-Monster to back off, and that we hadn't done her anything, and that she has to stop treating people like this. He moved in slow motion and there was a halo around his head which made his hair all shiny. A total romantic movie-movement. Or - as I said - a Six Feet Under-moment, because when I got back inside my head he was still just standing there.

Speaking of John... It's not like I really have a crush on him (I mean, he's a hockey player for God's sake!), but I do love watching him with the kids. He works with me (and Bitch-Monster) with the 2-year-olds, and they love him. Today he was lying back on his elbows on the floor when one of the boys crawled up on his chest and nearly fell asleep there. When John looked at me, all "Hey, look what this kid's doing" and smiled, I swear my uterus skipped a beat. Also, I wouldn't really mind falling asleep up there, myself. I imagine him being all warm and stuff... and he's got this really charming laughter, and a crooked smile. And speaks Swedish. And -

Darn! Changing the subject now.

Tomorrow I'll be working with the 1-year-olds, and even though I start at a quarter to seven in the morning I still can't wait. Because then I might go the whole day without seeing Bitch-Monster! Yay! I hardly eat at work anymore because she makes me lose my appetite. So obviously I get really weak at the end of the day, and I think it might affect my health as well. Why else would I spend two weekends in a row vomiting and then catch a cold or infection!?

Back to watching another episode of Six Feet Under now. I just started watching season 2 again. Man, I love that show! Whenever I feel depressed (and I fucking do now), the Fisher's are like my second family. Like in-laws, I guess I should say, seeing as how Nate's my boyfriend and all (Matt Damon is sooooo last mood swing).